I Hate It When I’m Right

Three years ago I said the rights of cis LGB people were next – I was right.

Three years ago I posted this on Instagram.

“Dear Cis people, you’re probably next…”

At the time it was about the reforms to the Gender Recognition Act, but damn it, I hate it when I’m right. In Italy this week, their right wing prime minister Giorgia Meloni ordered local authorities to stop registering same sex parents on birth certificates of their children. Only biological parents can now be on the birth certificate.

Even more horrifying, parents who are already on the birth certificate of their children have been removed. In the Italian city of Padua, 27 mothers have been removed from the birth certificates of their children.

I am not my children’s biological parent. I have two children and I am on their birth certificate. I have the same rights as any parent who may have adopted, give birth or been part of the biological make up of their children. The idea that this could be stripped from me is scary. They may not call me mum and dad, but I am their parent, I’ve been in their lives since conception, nothing can change that.

But, stripping me from their birth certificate, not only make things more difficult for me, it makes them more difficult for my wife who gave birth to them and for my kids. The school wouldn’t be able to contact me, the four different hospitals my toddler deals with wouldn’t be able to give me information or perhaps even let me stay over.

On top of that, where does their citizen ship now lie? My wife is American with indefinite leave to remain, but how does that then effect my children if I am no longer named second parent on their birth certificate. I cannot fathom being apart from my children, let along separated by 3000 miles of ocean.

And it’s not just me – there are a lot of queer families in the UK, a lot of lesbians who carried each other’s children, gay men who had surrogate, trans and non-binary people who gave birth. This doesn’t even get into the fact that thousands of children are adopted each year but cishet parents and many women in cishet relationships have IVF. Many more parents are single parents by choice, via donations or IVF.

It effects everyone who has had a child in any ‘non-traditional way’.

Thousands of children across Italy now have uncertain futures, face difficulties in accessing services and are suddenly forced onto donors who may now have a dozen children they may now be legally obligated to support in some manner.

As I said three years ago, eroding the rights of trans and nonbinary people is just the beginning. Cis gays and lesbians are now on the chopping block.

And I hate being right about this sort of thing.

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