Over at Alphabet Soup, it’s time to chose a word of the year.
I didn’t think it was possible to do this. A word of the week maybe, a word of the day like those calendars, but a word for the whole year…I wasn’t sure I could that. A word that meant the whole year, would define the whole year before I’d even lived it?
Then I realised it was actually easier than I thought.
This is the year I start my family. Regardless of what happens with our attempts at having a baby, this is the year I put my family together even if it consists of me, my wife and some cats and chickens.
I don’t have it easy when it comes to family. Not their fault. Not my fault. I am too different from my family really, I’m not like my sister. She gets on with everyone, all my cousins and aunts and uncles and knows bloody everyone in the town where I work. She’s like my dad. He knows everyone.
I don’t know anyone.
I don’t talk to my cousins or my aunts or have a lot of friends. I’m not particularly social – I have some social anxieties and social problems – and instead of looking out I tend to look inward. My sister is the social butterfly, I am not like my mother. I have a few people around me and that’s fine by me. My mum manages to keep contact with friends and family better than I do mind but that’s okay, maybe when I’m nearly sixty I will too.
My family are not like me. I’m different – not because I’m bisexual, or even weird, I just am different on a very fundamental level that leaves me feeling a little lost with them sometimes. There are very few people in this world who I deal with long-term and very few people in this world who can deal with me too. And I’m not related to all of them.
So, instead of dealing with people who I love very much, I have surrounded myself with people I can deal with. My wife, my best friend Mel, my cats (okay, not people but easier to deal with than actual people). I’ve created my own little family that will hopefully grow over the year.
I’ve always been a big believer in family being what you make it.
You may love your family but you don’t need to be close to them all the time to do that. Hell, you don’t even need to like them that much (I like most of mine). Family is complicated and horrible and wonderful and hard work.
Even when you create your own.
Especially when you create your own.
So, this year is about family. No more or less than any other year, but this year it will be about my family, growing my family, loving my family.