I Fell Out Of My House

I am a little accident prone.

Okay, so more recently this has become very accident prone.

In the last three weeks, I have fallen over after getting my laces trapped in the back door (stupid), cut my thumb while trying to slice open a pitta bread (a bit daft) and then yesterday fell over leaving my own house. Not by tripping over my laces – I learned my lesson unbelievably – to be honest, I’m not sure how I did it but I feel really stupid.

Especially as I’ve now sprained my ankle quite spectacularly. As pictured.

Long story short I fell out of the house.

Short story long, I didn’t feel up to going to the beach Saturday afternoon after work. It had been a long week and I mostly wanted a nap and a laze around. My plan was to go Sunday, we’d burn a lot of wood, make smores, have a laugh. So while I was napping, my wife and nephew were working in the yard and they let Reb Brown out on his lead. The lead is attached to a long cord and attached to a pole in the ground (I have one of those umbrella style washing lines).

We do this so he can’t get out of the garden. And we do that for a couple of reasons. When we first took him in, he was in pretty bad shape – the vet told us he’d lost a fight with another cat, that he would continue to lose fights until he died and he was better off indoors. Also, he had cat flu and bad eyes. The flu is gone but his eye will never get better – at the moment all we can really do is keep it clean until the time comes when it needs removing. So we had him fixed and took him in. But he likes the outside, so like our old cat Micky, we got him a harness and a lead and take him for walks in the park or let him in the garden.

So, later on, we went to get him out from the garden and he wasn’t there. He’d slipped his harness and got out the garden.

We grab the cat biscuits and the put the torch on my phone (cause we don’t have an actual working torch right now), and looked in the backyard looking for him. No sign of him so we go out the front.

I got as far as the driveway.

I’ve lived in this house for two years now, and I know there is a front step. I still went barrelling over it, spraining my ankle and grazing my knee. I lay on the floor before my wife helped me in the house, as I cried my eyes out (I don’t have the highest pain threshold) and my nephew, my hero, took the biscuits I hadn’t spilt all over the driveway out onto the estate to look for my cat. In the dark. In the village there aren’t as many street lights as there are on city streets and bless him he’s not keen on the dark and suffers from anxiety too. But he went without even thinking about the dark, my wife joining him once I was on the sofa.

They wandered around the estate calling for him and offering biscuits, which attracted another random cat (there are a lot of cats in my village). They headed back to the house and found my stupid cat in the driveway eating the biscuits. When they brought him inside they ran straight to the kitchen to the chicken waiting to be eaten.

It was long past his dinner time after all.

So now I’m limping around the place, slowly. I had the doctor check it, but it’s just a sprain. An epic sprain (my words, not his).

It’s just a long line of accidents and slip-ups. I have a bruise on my head from hitting my head on the metal draws at work. I hit my head on the at least once a week or so. I catch myself on door handles and hooks. Trip over cats (though that’s more because they’re awkward and stand in the way). Catch myself on corners.

I drop stuff. All the time. As the week goes on the more stuff I drop. I know it’s Saturday by the sheer amount of stuff I drop. Mostly stuff in boxes, but I have broken two bottles of cough medicine and some Olbas oil. It’s pretty annoying. Cough medicine is sticky and bloody hard to clean up.

I wake up with bruises. When I was a teenager I was convinced I was being kidnapped by aliens. I may have been obsessed with the X-Files at the time too.

I don’t mind so much sometimes. Bruises and broken bowls (broke one yesterday) aren’t really a big problem (unless it’s the last bowl and I have soup for dinner). But it does make me feel stupid and I definitely do not like feeling stupid. I worry that people don’t take me seriously and people have treated me badly in the past, like I’m a child (I’m 33) that can’t look after myself and once thme an idiot. Or any less capable at my job. Or able to look after myself and my wife and my animals. And in the future my baby.

It’s hard to remember that when you’re limping to the bus stop, and everything and anything that touches your knee stings and the bruises spread right over both legs. Hard to remember that after breaking another bowl, after another bruise, after another cut, after a long line of little accidents, while limping everywhere.

It passes through, these things do and I’ve learnt to be a little more careful coming out the front door.

On to the next accident adventure.


36 Replies to “I Fell Out Of My House

  1. Ouch! Poor you… Take it easy for a while and maybe invest in a bubblewrap suit or something! Cats, eh? They’re totally oblivious to the trouble they cause us πŸ™‚

  2. Ouch! I am just as clumsy honest. I had had epic sprains on both my ankles my left one as I was carrying my then 9 month old daughter down the two steps in our hallway and it gave out on me. The other I had too much vodka, 6 inch heels and 6 weeks off work unable to walk! Hope it heels quickly for you #KCACOLS

    1. I probably could’ve done with a few days off work, but there was just too much to do at work and we’re already a little short staffed.

  3. Too funny, you’re the only other person who says “I fell out of the house.” No one else knows what that means πŸ™‚

  4. Hey! I hear ya!! I broke my toe a couple months ago walking through the kitchen. Dang wall just jumped right out in front of me!!

  5. Ouch! That looks so painful, here’s hoping you heal up quickly! (and don’t get injured again in the meantime!) πŸ™‚

  6. Nice to read that someone is as coordinately challenged as I am .. I’v slapped myself in the face picking up pots (don’t ask) stabbed myself in the eye cleaning my teeth, opened cupboards onto my leg and head, and yet I’ve managed he shoelace thing on the front door a number of times… and don’t get me started on the accuracy of sitting on chairs. πŸ™‚ I now carry mystery bruises on my body every day as a badge of honor – because it’s either that of turn my house into a padded cell to avoid injury. Keep up with the struggle girl!

  7. I am so sorry that you hurt yourself. But it’s good to know I’m not the only one. I’m so clumsy that I had 3 concussions in 6 months. I am constantly falling up or down the stairs. My daughters are no longer phased by it, they will usually just shout from wherever they are, “You still alive?” It’s only when they have new friends over that jump up to run to my aid that I realize again just how commonplace this is!

  8. Take it easy, and rest those feet! Once you’re up to it trace the alphabet with your foot, and that will help with the recovery. Claire x #KCACOLS

  9. Now that looks painful! I love the title of this post. I think we do all do the craziest, clumsiest things at times. They are no fun when you end up with a foot like yours though! Hope it’s pain free soon! #KCACOLS

  10. ouch! i feel your pain.. two and a half months ago I tripped on the last steps of our patio and sprained my ankle. the sprained ankle turned into a partially torn ligament and now nerve damage causing something called Regional Pain Syndrome.. ?

  11. Ouch! I’m a little accident prone, and usually bruised too! Glad the cat turned up and the ankle isn’t broken! Hope it’s better soon! #KCACOLS

  12. Ouch – that looks really painful! I hope you have managed to rest it and at least the cat turned up!

    I fell and hit my knee on the bath at the end of last year and had a massive bruise that took ages to heal. Even now it’s still tender to touch.

    Thank you for linking up to #KCACOLS and I hope to see you back again on Sunday

  13. Oh no that looks very painful!! I’m so sorry that you heart it like this. Please take care of yourself I hope you feel better soon. Thanks so much for sharing this at #KCACOLS. So happy to have you back for this week. I would love to see you again on Sunday! πŸ™‚ x

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