There is something about bisexuality that doesn’t seem to pervade the consciousness of society.
You’d think it would be obvious. That bisexuality wouldn’t even be debated as a sexual orientation or that we wouldn’t still suffer from prejudice from both hetero and LGBTQIA+ communities and bi-erasure from media in 2017. As a community, we’re met by resistance from every angle. Whether it be characters who are historically bisexual turned straight (or gay) or just the myths that are spread around about who we are and what we do we’re suffering. Still.
Bisexuality as a word meaning attracted to both sexes has been around since 1914. It’s not a new thing. Many famous people through history have identified as bisexual, or known to have relationships with both men and women. These include Gillian Anderson, David Bowie, Billie Holiday and more.
Bisexuality is different for everyone. Bisexuals are attracted to two or more genders. But the two or more genders one person may be attracted too can be different from what the next person is attracted to. It’s not an equal split either for everyone else. Some people may feel that way but some won’t.
Bisexuality doesn’t change when someone is in a relationship. Being in a same-sex relationship doesn’t make a bisexual person gay or lesbian, any more than being in a different-sex relationship makes us straight. It doesn’t change with experience either. Millions of people are straight without ever having any sexual experience with the opposite sex. It’s the same for lesbians and gays, and it’s the same for us. I knew I was bisexual before I’d had experience of either sex.
Bisexuals are less likely to have come out than other members of the LGBTQIA+ community. Everyone has their own reasons for being in the closet but with bisexuals facing prejudice from both every angle, it’s not surprising that so many of us choose not to come out.
Bisexuality is a real and valid thing. It’s being researched by scientists, there are millions of us. We suffer from health problems in greater numbers than our gay and lesbian counterparts, and we’re more likely to suffer from domestic abuses too.
Bisexuals are not greedy. We just happened to like more than one gender but that doesn’t mean we’re attracted to more people than anyone else. Everyone has their own type, what they find emotionally or physically attractive. Yes, our pool of what we may find attractive is obviously larger but that’s about maths and not greed. And no, we’re not all into threesomes either.
Bisexuals are not all cheaters. We don’t cheat any more or less than anyone else in the world. Nor are we afraid of commitment. It’s damaging to the bisexual community as a whole. A lot of straight, gay and lesbian people believe this biphobic myth and use it as their reason not to date bisexuals. Some use it as their reasons to ostracise bisexuals too.
No one is going through a phase. Being bi isn’t being gay or straight. Sexuality can be pretty fluid, so some bisexuals do come out of gay or lesbian later on. That’s their choice, their sexuality, and their life. It does not reflect on every other bisexual person out there. For the rest of us, we’re always going to be bi.
Bisexuality, biphobia, and bi-erasure all exist. There is no debate to be had.
Today is Bisexuality Visibility Day – celebrated every year all over the world since 1999. Check out the links below for more information about bisexuality and Bi Visibility Day.
- Bisexual Visibility Day
- 13 Things You Didn’t Know About Being Bisexual
- How To Support A Bisexual Person
- Bisexual Resource Centre
Are you a bisexual with a blog? Add your blog to this post!